For those of us that are not as gifted at Rugby League as others… There is a tradition that must be upheld. This ritual is a combination of a fun-run in the park and the lifestyle of a naturist. That’s right it’s the nudie run.
The criteria is simple; one must score a try to avoid this end of season humiliation. The punishment for occupying space on a Rugby League field, whilst contributing nothing to the team; is to imitate the great Australian sprinter Matt Shirvington in a loin-bruising nudie run.
It is a rite of passage for famous rugby league players like, Tim Mannah and Daniel Alvaro who no one alive, can ever remember scoring a try. Sometimes it is passed down from generation to generation. Sometimes from father to son. On occasion there are brothers in the same family where one is brilliant. But the other brother spends every off season in shameful nudity atoning for their sins. “Sometimes genetics just aren’t fair” they are heard muttering as they jog on.
In the past there have been missing person reports filed for people at this time of year, as people with no ability vanish with raffle money and end up on milk cartons.
One of the original nude-runners of note was the legendary ‘Pinder’. Mr. Pinder was the founder of the Pinder cup, for ‘excellence in Nothing’. Many Nudie-run participants have gone on to win the prestigious Pinder cup. But none will ever come close to Pinder’s exploits in promising everything but giving nothing on the field. Famously an illegal betting ring was started on the sidelines. You could bet on, when Pinder would touch the ball or do a tackle. Of course, no one ever won.
This year there are some familiar faces but there are always some surprises. The Coach and players are often left scratching their heads as to what went wrong.
The good news is there is still a short time for these players to seek redemption. There are 2 games remaining in the regular season.
And before anyone asks, the answer is NO. Nines tournament tries and training tries do not count!
This weekend the Polecats take on the Macquarie University Warriors. The Macquarie mascot is a Highlander from the film Braveheart. If the players want to avoid re-enacting a scene from the famous movie Braveheart they best get a move on. Otherwise they will be imitating a disgusting Scotsmen with terrible hygiene and excessive body hair, lifting their kilts to reveal their Dirk and sporran on a green hill screaming FREEDOM!
Good Luck Polecats. Humanity truly wants to avoid another Polecats Nudie run.
Match Day Details
First Division: TAFE NSW Polecats vs. Macquarie University
Ground: Blackmore Oval